My son has written a song, well actually many songs, but one in particular is resonating with me tonight. The song is titled Numbed and eventually I will post it to this blog.
He is now 17 years old and the song has been written in reflection to his experience of being bullied in elementary school. He was home schooled until fifth grade, and the first lesson he learned in the classroom of public school, unfortunately, was how harmful other kids can be.
I have three sons, and the other two were not targeted in such a harmful way. Even teachers had said my oldest son’s class, was extremely difficult that year.
Through the song that my son wrote, he has expressed how the words said by others, still haunt him. His view: the friends that were once holding him up and were the roots in his life failed him. With their words, his heart grew numb.
It is so ironic, because these kids were his friends that were tormenting him. They would physically hurt him and tear him down verbally, every time the teacher went out of the room. This occurred at recess, in the bathrooms, in the hallway, lunchroom and on the way to the bus. He finally got to the point where he was getting sick, and then I realized there was a problem. He always had a smile on his face until that moment.
These ‘friends’ were playing games. They were doing the same garbage to each other, but to this home schooled kid, it felt so much more personal yet it was damaging them all.
I am sharing this story, because it dawned on me today that we as adults even do the same thing to one another.
We don’t regard the other persons feelings, we ramble on not knowing our words are cutting the heart of another. Even at times we know we are hurting someone but we are so blinded with our own pain and own self, we do not care.
With one ‘jest’ we can make a friend feel belittled and doubt their self-worth. We would think we had outgrown these antics, but I look around and see that we have not.
One criticism and another will focus on that criticism and forget all the good that they are and focus on the things that they are not.
Now I know in a perfect walk with God, we know our value. But so often we forget not everyone is in the same place in their walk that we are. Maybe words would not hurt you, but are you evaluating if your words would hurt another?
I am guilty of hurting with my words, on purpose. I am guilty of being prideful and spouting off my mouth without care to the outcome. I am guilty of letting my emotions run my mouth. For this I am truly repentant. But also, I am repentant of the words I carelessly spoke, the ones that I did not mean to harm with, but because I did not give them thought, they pierced. I repent… Which means I give it to the Lord and I will turn and walk away. I will make an effort to think how my words are effecting another.
I may fail, but at least now I am aware the impact that a simple, flippant remark may have, and I can say, I want to be better than that.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.