Dear Daughter-in-law


Dear Daughter-in-law,

My sons are one of my deepest loves. I will fight for and support them until the day I die.  There is a lie out there that mother-in-law has to be the enemy. I am so thankful that this is not the case but there is more on my heart for you to know.
One of the best ways that I can love my adult son is to be your champion.

Champion: To fight for, defend, or support.

Daughter-in-law, you are a fellow woman but more than that you are now my family. I will shout for joy with your accomplishments, I will walk with you through the trials and be a source of hope when you are feeling less than.

Daughter-in-law, your concerns are my concerns. I will not side with my son just because he is my son when you come to me for counsel. I am your champion as well as his. You can confidently know that I will not run to him every time you may come to me with something on your heart. You can know I don’t ever expect you to come but I am always here when you need to.

I champion your success. I champion for you to be joyful, confident and fulfilled not only in your marriage but in your place of this family.
You are to always come first in his life. You are to be his focus and your happiness is his greatest concern.

Daughter-in-law, you are a treasure to never be overlooked as life gets crazy or the comfortable sets in, I will remind him to date you and pursue you forever. To listen to your heart. To be your helper and leader. To put your needs above his own and to love you first.
His greatest duty is to you, his wife and partner. I will forever be your champion because not only are you his, you are now mine.


Saving Biblical Marriage

Saving biblical marriage is a phrase that  is thrown around often these days. Mostly I hear this concerning same sex marriage protest. The fight against marriage being redefined in the United States across the board is a very heated topic that causes much dissension.

“Biblical marriage = 1 man + 1 woman”, is often quoted by Jesus followers. And this is where I let out a big fat raspberry with an eye roll!!

For starters I don’t see why we must define biblical marriage simply as one man and one woman. This would mean every single heterosexual marriage was biblical. I am sorry that is not the case. You must have God as the center of your marriage to be a biblical marriage. Just because one man and one woman marry, does not make their marriage biblical.

Secondly, to allow the state to define biblical marriage, what would we do if the state decided that christians could no longer be legally wed and all marriage licenses are void, does this mean that the whole church would be practicing fornication if they remained married? OF COURSE NOT. Biblical marriage is a covenant with a man and a woman AND God. The state has nothing to do with it.

Lastly, my biggest frustration over the biblical marriage fight, is there are millions of fingers pointing at the same-sex couples as the destruction of marriage, and no fingers pointing within the walls of the church. The issue isn’t what others are doing that is destroying  the church and the marriages within, it is the actions of christian heterosexuals that are destroying the biblical marriage!

The afflictions are hidden in closets of the church goers, even blatantly in front of the church and overlooked with a simple “grace covers all sin’! Affairs at the pulpit and beyond, pornography, pedophiles, divorce, alcoholism, addiction, lying, hatred, bitterness, anger and abuse are all causes for the destruction of a biblical marriage!

Yes, to have  a biblical marriage, the word says one man and one woman. But less we forget the other scriptures concerning marriage?

Ephesians 5:25- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. ( GAVE HIMSELF UP ) This means men die to your selfish lusts and addictions that are destroying your marriage! Then you look at the meaning of love as described in the bible…

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Bible believers are we making sure that our marriages  are filled with Christ’s love?! I can see in this scripture areas I struggle in often… patience is a huge problem with me !

Let us not forget what the word says to women directly, that many in the church today roll their eyes and take lightly. This is an area that yes I agree with, I often struggle with my own stubborn self.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. This is such a brief overview of what the word says about a biblical marriage. I am not getting overly deep in it today. My purpose is to shout out… Let’s stop focusing on what those outside the church are doing to ‘destroy’ marriage, and look within to save marriage as God intended! One thing Jesus never did, and that was to force anyone to live biblically.

When we as His followers as a whole don’t live biblically, why do we feel it is our duty to force others to?

I know this is not a typical blog post for Writing For Joy, but isn’t a biblical successful marriage, a key to living joyfully as well? Blessings

Here comes the bride


I have spent the last two weekends at weddings. I have been in the background watching and observing,  often behind the lens of the camera. When I look at the face of the groom at the front of the aisle waiting for his bride, I see great joy and excitement in his face.  His hand is held out and ready to receive his bride as she approaches him.

As I see the bride walk towards her groom, she steps timidly at first but her eyes lock on his and each step becomes bolder and bolder. As she arrives at his arm, I see her face shines with adoration of him and her feeling of completion settles over her whole countenance.

It is at that moment when the two stand before the gathering, you can see that all their preparation was for this moment and they are embracing it with joy.

I don’t believe most brides or grooms that are ready to finally become one with their soul mate, stand before the congregation and plan to one day pull farther and farther away from their partner by seeking after their own selfish ways.  I don’t believe a bride or groom that has  prepared themselves, sit in front of all the witnesses with a plan to bail out at some point. Their ‘plan’ is to stay together forever, not to stay together until  the next best thing or distraction comes along. They do not go into marriage with a desire or plan to forsake their love. But sadly so often this is exactly what happens. The bride and groom that fail, have forgotten their  love and the setting aside of  themselves for that love.

I am reminded how great the anticipation was for my wedding. From the time I was a young girl I would pour over bride magazines, dance in my room in a pretend wedding dress and veil that was made out of a set of sheets or table-cloth, and set up my stuffed animals to be the attendees. I just knew one day I wanted to get married, and I was practicing and watching others around me as I prepared to one day take my own steps down the aisle.

This scenario reminds me afresh my FIRST love with Jesus. I just glowed with anticipation of one day seeing Him face to face. I looked forward to spending time in His word, with His church, in worship and prayer and prepared myself for him. This is something that I must carry on daily. I can not let my love for Jesus grow dim. I die inside if I drift away.

If I want to stay sturdy in my relationship with Jesus, I must cultivate the relationship, just as a bride and groom must. I can not forsake my first love.

I can’t get lazy, or complacent, or settle for good enough. If a bride and groom get lazy or complacent or settle, they don’t develop anything deeper or richer in their lives, and often the intimacy is ruined and the walls start building up and a separation of heart occurs.

Jesus will never leave us or forsake us, but if we as His children (The bride of Christ) do not seek to continually develop our relationship and grow with Him, it is then us that leaves Him little by little until we are carrying His name only with us. When we drift away we are not carrying the essence of who He is, in our being.

I have watched others, slowly drift away to the point that you have forgotten that they ever knew Jesus, let alone once walked with Him hand in hand. They let their love fizzle and die out, forgetting the excitement and anticipation of belonging to Him. I have seen others ready to take on the name of Jesus (Christian) but not actually be prepared to belong to Him, by fully repenting and turning away from self. It is so very important to take on not only the name of Jesus but to truly belong to Him. Just as a faithful bride takes on her husband’s name, she is doing more than brandishing his name, she belongs to her husband and forsakes others and the ways of living for herself.

We must remember as a bride of Jesus, we now belong to Him and should desire to please Him by letting His word become alive and real in our life.

If you can not lay yourself down, and belong to Him fully, it is time to re-evaluate my friends. Why take on the name at all?

Challenge this day my friend: Rediscover the FIRST LOVE you had with Jesus. That first excitement and joy that you are the beloveds and He is yours. You belong to the Jesus that died and laid His life down, giving of himself for you. This is the greatest gift; Love. Remember your position as the bride of Christ and don’t take your place lightly.

If you have not fully had a JOY over your relationship with Jesus, pray that it may be so. Pray that you may become closer and have a fuller understanding. Continue to prepare your heart.

Do not be as the modern-day mockers of marriage… do not forsake your love for Him.


Revelation 2:4

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.

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