There is a very sore spot that the Lord had to heal in my life. I was unwanted by my biological family. I grew up knowing, and hearing the words straight from the mouth of my biological grandparent that I was not worth the investment of proving my paternity. My biological father, never wanted to reach out and learn about me, or respond to my efforts to know more about that part of my life.
Even though my Daddy that raised me from birth, poured into my life, was there for every moment and showed me I was treasured…the enemy kept poking at my self worth.
This aching spot, festered into my life for years. I was easily hurt and would then push people away, so that they couldn’t hurt me any deeper.
I was once at a gathering and two people I felt very close to, were wrapped up in their own situation and barely acknowledge that I had come over an hour away to spend time with them and although there was an apology later, I could not get over the pain that stabbed at my heart. Another time a dear friend came to town and it was over a week and a half before there was time to see me, a friend I had found of highest value and recently had driven 11 hours to go see.
I know that the hurt and offense lies on my shoulders, but immediately the enemy started in…”see another family doesn’t want you”, or “other friends find you of no value.” Even now those moments bring tears to my eyes because the hurt, had been so deep.
I began to push away, run away, hide. I felt it was easier to stay away and not invest, to only be hurt again. Then as I hid, I became depressed once again. There were the lies of the enemy daily attacking and as much as I would counter the lies with the word of God, there were moments in my weakened state that I believed those lies. I didn’t want to go to church, I didn’t want people over, I would hang out alone in my room with a book or movie and shut out the world. This my friends is how the enemy works. It is something that will immobilize your life, stop your production of great things…it is Isolation.
Isolation: : the state of being in a place or situation that is separate from others : the condition of being isolated
God himself said Genesis 2:18- it was not good for man to be alone. I truly believe that this goes farther than just the two at the Garden of Eden. For in the scriptures it also says, Hebrews 10:25- Do not forsake the gathering of the brethren, but encouraging one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.
We are called to be an encouragement to others and to be encouraged by others! How can this be accomplished if we lock ourselves away because of hurts, depression, illness, anger, judgement, and the constant other onslaught tactics of the enemy?
Clearly He is not going to give up the pursuit of pushing you into isolation. How do we break out of the chains that are binding us in the situation?
For me, it was one step at a time. One healing moment at a time. First to recognize I had isolated myself, and then to cry out for His strength to break the pattern. I still fight the lies, I still fight the pain of illness, I still have the struggles, the difference is, now I FIGHT. I do not roll over in defeat and hide.
It could be so easy to justify closing my life off to others, but in reality, Isolation is of the enemy and robs us of the gift God gave us…. LOVE.
I will no longer let the lies, dictate my worth, my future, or my gifts… I must stand on the very fact that God’s truths are far more than enough! I will stop hiding!
A relevant past post – Hello?