If ever there was one, this post is a post that may step on some toes. I write with a contrite heart, as one that has battled this issue and has learned from it. I still struggle but I am learning how to conquer this battle more and more swiftly, with each victory.
I have assumed that not hearing from someone in my life, meant they no longer cared. Sometimes it was true, but most often the hurt feelings were unnecessary and the friends or family were just busy with their own life.
I have assumed that the hubby has heard me when I ask him to do something. When he doesn’t do it, I have assumed it was because he ignored me, in reality he never heard me in the first place and I’ve gotten upset and felt ignored, for no reason.
There have been times, when I simply call one of my children by name and they instantly start coming up with an excuse on why they shouldn’t be in trouble. They automatically assumed they were going to get in trouble for something even if I was just going to say, “I love you,” or ask them a question that wasn’t corrective in nature at all.
I have had people angry with me because they assumed that I had talked about their situation with another person. After being accused point blank rather than asked, I talked and shared and went to the source and they learned that I did not share their situation at all. Their assumption made them angry, hurt, frustrated, and paranoid for no reason at all.
I have had people tell me; ” look at that woman over there, what is she staring at, she must think she is better than me!” Each statement of declaration getting louder and louder. This assumption not based on fact at all. The mountain becoming bigger in the head with each thought.
I confess, I have assumed the worst in people, many times.
These kinds of assumptions steal our peace. If our thoughts are on another persons faults or shortcomings or on what we assume they think or feel about us, then we are allowing darkness into our heart. Anxiety leads to depression and unhealthy assumptions make us anxious.
We can not walk in a life of joy and a life of unhealthy assumptions at the same time. We are borrowing trouble, even if the assumptions turn out to be true. Our focus and energy does not need to be on another’s shortcomings.
Some of the biggest assumptions are made on social networks. Someone posts something they feel about a situation and fifty people all of a sudden are hurt thinking the statement was about them. What is meant to connect you with friends over miles, has torn relationships apart.
It is time that we take control of our thoughts and flesh and make sure that we base our conversations on TRUTH. The TRUTH of God’s word. That we are to be encouraging, patient, loving and kind with one another. We are called, to be slow with taking offense.
Assuming that people don’t care, that they talk about us, or we are the center of their universe, takes our sights off of God and puts them on ourselves and people in a way that is not healthy.
I find the happiest people are those that are not quick to take offense.
Challenge this day my friend: The temptation to make unhealthy assumptions WILL arise. It does in each and every one of us. When it arises; stop, take a breath and ask yourself, ” is this life giving?” Decide today at this moment, ” I will not take offense!!!”
Recognize where you may have assumed and make things right in your heart with the Lord.
Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.